Mercer...mad?

This is a story that caught my eye today. Rick Mercer...is mad. I think that it is probably pretty difficult to make a comedian mad, but that's what one particular writer has done - and a fellow Newfoundlander, no less. Apparently she is upset that her cohorts from the Rock are not showing dissent with respect to Canada's mission in Afghanistan. This comes from the Newfoundland newspaper "The Independent." Read for yourself. I couldn't find the article of which he speaks; perhaps it has been deleted?? Oh, and if you want to see what she is upset about, read Rick Mercer's blog here.

By Courtesy (St. John's)
The Independent
Friday, January 26, 2007

By Rick Mercer

For The Independent



Poor Noreen Golfman. She wrote in her Jan. 12 column (Blowing in the Wind … ) that her holidays were ruined by what she felt were incessant reports about Canadian men and women serving in Afghanistan. So upset was Noreen that, armed with her legendary pen, sharpened from years in the trenches at Memorial University’s women’s studies department, she went on the attack. I know I should just ignore the good professor and write her off as another bitter baby boom academic pining for what she fondly calls “the protest songs of yesteryear,” but I can’t help myself. A response is exactly what she wants; and so I include it here. After all, Newfoundlanders have seen this before: Noreen Golfman, sadly, is Margaret Wente without the wit.



Dear Noreen,

I am so sorry to hear about the interruption to your holiday cheer. You say in your column that it all started when the CBC ran a story on some “poor sod” who got his legs blown off in Afghanistan.

The “poor sod” in question, Noreen, has a name and it is Cpl. Paul Franklin. He is a medic in the Forces and has been a buddy of mine for years. I had dinner with him last week in Edmonton, in fact. I will be sure to pass on to him that his lack of legs caused you some personal discomfort this Christmas.

Paul is a pretty amazing guy. You would like him I think. When I met him years ago he had two good legs and a brutally funny sense of humour. He was so funny that I was pretty sure he was a Newfoundlander. You probably know the type (or maybe you don’t) — salt of the earth, always smiling, and like so many health-care professionals, seemingly obsessed with helping others in need.

These days he spends his time training other health-care workers and learning how to walk again. That’s a pretty exhausting task for Paul … heading into rehabilitation he knew very well his chances of walking again were next to none, considering he’s a double amputee, missing both legs above the knee.

At the risk of ruining your day Noreen, I’m proud to report that for the last few months he has managed to walk his son to school almost every morning and it’s almost a kilometre from his house. Next month Paul hopes to travel to Washington where he claims he will learn how to run on something he calls “bionic flipper cheetah feet.” The legs may be gone but the sense of humour is still very much intact.

Forgive me Noreen for using Paul’s name so much, but seeing as you didn’t catch it when CBC ran the profile on his recovery I thought it might be nice if you perhaps bothered to remember it from here on in. This way, when you are pontificating about him at a dinner party, you no longer have to refer to him simply as the “poor sod,” but you can actually refer to him as Paul Franklin. You may prefer “poor sod” of course; it’s all a matter of how you look at things. You see a “poor sod” that ruined your Christmas and I see a truly inspiring guy. That’s why I am thrilled that the CBC saw fit to run a story on Paul and his wife Audra. I would go so far as to suggest that many people would find their story, their marriage and their charitable endeavours inspiring. Just as I am sure that many readers of The Independent are inspired by your suggestion that Paul’s story has no place on the public broadcaster.

Further on in your column you ask why more people aren’t questioning Canada’s role in Afghanistan. I understand this frustration. It’s a good question. Why should Canada honour its United Nations-sanctioned NATO commitments? Let’s have the discussion. I would welcome debate on the idea that Canada should simply ignore its international obligations and pull out of Afghanistan. By all means ask the questions Noreen, but surely such debates can occur without begrudging the families of injured soldiers too much airtime at Christmas?

Personally, I would have thought that as a professor of women’s studies you would be somewhat supportive of the notion of a NATO presence in Afghanistan. After all, it is the NATO force that is keeping the Taliban from power. In case you missed it Noreen, the Taliban was a regime that systematically de-peopled women to the point where they had no human rights whatsoever. This was a country where until very recently it was illegal for a child to fly a kite or for a little girl to receive any education.

To put it in terms you might understand Noreen, rest assured the Taliban would frown on your attending this year’s opening night gala of the St. John’s International Women’s Film Festival. In fact, as a woman, a professor, a writer and (one supposes) an advocate of the concept that women are people, they would probably want to kill you three or four times over. Thankfully that notion is moot in our cozy part of the world but were it ever come to pass I would suggest that you would be grateful if a “poor sod” like Paul Franklin happened along to risk his life to protect yours.

And then of course you seem to be somehow personally indignant that I would visit troops in Afghanistan over Christmas. You ask the question “When did the worm turn?” Well I hate to break it to you, but in my case this worm has been doing this for a long time now. It’s been a decade since I visited Canadian peacekeeping operations in Bosnia and this Christmas marked my third trip to Afghanistan. Why do I do it? Well I am not a soldier — that much is perfectly clear. I don’t have the discipline or the skills. But I am an entertainer and entertainers entertain. And occasionally, like most Canadians, I get to volunteer my professional time to causes that I find personally satisfying.

As a Newfoundlander this is very personal to me. On every one of these trips I meet Newfoundlanders who serve proudly in the Canadian Forces. Every day they do the hard work that we as a nation ask of them. They do this without complaint and they do it knowing that at every turn there are people like you, Noreen, suggesting that what they do is somehow undignified or misguided.

I am also curious Noreen why you refer to the head of the Canadian Forces, General Rick Hillier, as “Rick ‘MUN graduate’ Hillier.” I would suggest that if you wish to criticize General Hillier’s record of leadership or service to his country you should feel free. He is a big boy. However, when you dismiss him as “Rick ‘MUN Graduate’ Hillier” the message is loud and clear. Are you suggesting that because General Hillier received an education at Memorial he is somehow unqualified for high command? We are used to seeing this type of tactic in certain national papers — not The Independent.

You end by saying you personally cannot envision that peace can ever be paved with military offensives. May I suggest to you that in many instances in history peace has been achieved exactly that way.

The gates of Auschwitz were not opened with peace talks. Holland was not liberated by peacekeepers and fascism was not defeated with a deft pen. Time and time again men and women in uniform have laid down their lives in just causes and in an effort to free others from oppression.

It is unfortunate, Noreen, that in such instances people like yourself may have your sensitivities offended, especially during the holiday season, but perhaps that is a small price to pay. Best wishes for the remainder of 2007; may it be a year of peace and prosperity.

The ol' Look-back

While I don't really like making resolutions, I figure that a few weeks into the new year is a good time to look back and see what has happened in the last twelve months. You know, see if I am getting closer to any goals, developing myself, becoming a better person...or just getting older. So here, in no particular order, are some important things that happened in my life in 2006.

1) I started eating in a new way. With the Paleo Diet, I get more vitamins and minerals, more protein, less sodium and sugar, and I keep my body out of the constant metabolic acidosis that afflicts the entire grain-fed world. When I follow it strictly, I sleep better and need less sleep. I don't get sick. I don't feel tired after meals or in the mid-afternoon. There are so many benefits, and it makes so much sense to me now, that I look back at what I ate before (and what the government says to eat), and can barely believe it. Some people think that diets have to allow them to eat whatever foods they want. Well, I disagree. Some people like smoking weed all day, but that doesn't make it good for them. Pizza and beer on Fridays; that is generally the only reminder of my old way of eating that I allow.

2) I didn't get dumped. Hurray!

3) I (finally) started my next career course, my basic flying course in Moose Jaw. That entailed, of course, a move to Saskatchewan. Moose Jaw is not so bad, I am loving the flying, and I am doing well enough so far. Flight test number 2 (out of 5) is scheduled for tomorrow, we'll see if I love it in 24 hours. And - the best part of being in Moose Jaw - I no longer live in Winnipeg.

4) I stopped believing in god. It has been over 10 years at least since I last thought that there was some son of god who walked around on earth a couple thousand years ago, but I still wanted to believe that there was some sort of being that created the universe and set it in motion; or even that there was something that could intervene. I don't think so anymore. This conclusion was certainly not arrived at out of apathy - more like constantly thinking about it for years. So this is where I am at now.

5) I decided to attempt to earn the Canadian Forces Aerobic Excellence Award. I stopped after 644km in August, about three weeks after getting to Moose Jaw and being totally overwhelmed by the workload at the beginning of course. I needed 2000 in 2 years. Project status - abandoned. However, I started playing hockey again and it is radical. I am trying out for the base team this month.

6) I had one of the best summers ever. Seriously, it was awesome.

7) I passed my french language test, with a grade that means I will never have to take the test again in my career. Then I met some guys from Québec and realized I could barely speak french at all. Project status- continuing for the remainder of my life.

8) The first victim (Kyle) got married. The next (Joel) signed his warrant. And now it has just turned into an avalanche of seemingly unstoppable power.

Seems like a good year overall. Hopefully 2007 will be as good.

On getting old

We're all doing it. We're all getting older, one day at a time. Sometimes, though, you just feel its crushing weight a little more than usual.

I have now spent more than 26 years on earth. But the definition of a toddler, I am really old. For a teenager, I'm old. For someone in their 30s, I am still looking ahead. For someone in their 50s, I am just getting started.

For me, it feels like I am getting old and haven't even really started yet. Seriously, I am not even a productive member of society. I have been "in training" to make my contribution for MY WHOLE LIFE. I probably won't even start "work" until I am almost 28. It doesn't seem very efficient for society to be training me for half of my working life. I probably won't be working past 55, so I will really only be contributing to society (as opposed to being more parasitic, like now) for about 27 years. Can you really give back all you've been given in those short years? And as for the experience of it all, everyone's parents were right when they said that the time just goes by faster and faster.

From time to time, I think, "If only this course were over," or, "when I finally get posted, that will be it," or any of a variety of scenarios. But then I realize that this is the same thing I thought before. "Once I get to Moose Jaw," or "Once I get out of university."

Wisdom, and perhaps some solace, may be found in this:

For a long time it seemed to me that life was about to begin - real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be got through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid. Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life. -Fr. Alfred D'Souza

New Year's Resolutions

I have self-discipline.
I have self-control.
I don't have a scale at home, and just weighed myself for the first time in nearly three weeks.

Maybe I need to work on the self-control and self-discipline when it comes to exercise and the consumption of delicious baking over the Christmas holidays.

I'm not a big fan of New Year's resolutions, however, and I certainly am not going to make any resolution regarding my weight. In fact, I generally loathe New Year's resolutions, since their major result is a gym clogged with well-meaning and totally unmotivated people who can't find the inspiration to work out at any other time of the year. "This year I will do it, for sure!" Uh-huh. And I'm sure next year will be the year too.

My first test of whether my conditioning has suffered will be tonight's hockey game. Playing organized hockey was one of my promises to myself last year (I guess you could call it a "resolution," and I even made it on this blog somewhere), and it has certainly been tons of fun. Why do so many people have so much trouble staying active?

Speaking of being active, I got something for Christmas designed to help me avoid that. Yep, I got books. Tons of books. Unless you count aerodynamics manuals, instrument flying regulations, and the DaVinci Code as literature, I didn't do a lot of reading last year. Now, I have all sorts of things to read, namely:
Why Darwin Matters;
Beyond Band of Brothers;
Guns, Germs, and Steel;
Flags of Our Fathers; and
A Taste of Temptation,
among others. I'm sure my weight will just take care of itself. Forget the gym, it's too busy; I'm going to go read!