Sunday, July 10, 2005

The greatest outdoor show on Earth

That's right folks, this weekend began the one, the only, the annual Calgary Stampede. And for the first time ever, I was there.

So what is the Stampede about? Is it about bronc busting and cattle wrangling and chuckwagon racing? Well, if it is, that sure isn't the impression I got. I didn't see a single bovine being or equestrian occurance during the two days I was in the city. What I did see a lot of was: a) cowboy hats; b) belt buckles; and c) parties.

Only during stampede time in Cowtown can they have $15-20 cover charge at the bar, with another $15 to get from inside the bar to on the patio, and still have lineups from before opening at 11am until close at 3am. This is not to mention the $7 drinks, of course, and the $20 to the bouncer if you want to wait less than 3 hours in the line.

There were also a good number of live shows going on. I saw Five Star Affair, a crazy ska-reggae band that includes a trumpet and a didgeridoo. They will be playing again next week on a side stage at Warped Tour, so you should check them out if you are going to be there.

So now that you have the events of the weekend, here are the lessons:
1) Girls look hot in cowboy hats
2) Drinking from 7pm-3am hurts the next day
3) Tequila is the devil's concoction
4) Even when desparately hungry, bar food sucks
5) I think they're called "upside down shooters" for the fact that they might as well turn you upside down and shake all the money from your pockets ("$12? Seriously? Like, 1-2?")
6) Almost any city is better than Winnipeg, but Calgary has awesome music, tons of beautiful girls, and....wait, I think that's all you need for a successful city.

I hope your weekend was equally spectacular.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

My weekend sucked..weather's been terrible here..we're getting smited for being too cocky

Cracker said...

Ha! That's what you get for living in paradise you bastard.

You missed out on a hell of a weekend here Matt. There were...umm... parties.. and stuff. Ok, maybe it wasn't as good, but I went to the street perfromers and re-burnt my freshly peeled skin. So THERE!

Snides said...

We have had nothing but sunshine and crazy storms here. It's AWESOME. Too bad I wasn't at home for the "parties," but my skin is peeling again too. So at least I got the important part.

Unknown said...

Glad you had fun supporting the explotation of animals for our entertainment. Just kidding. My weekend was WACK. Friday, I watched people smoke weed until I got bored and left. Saturday was cool; saw one of the best local shows I've ever seen (Dietzche V and the Abominable Snowman/Cadence Weapon/Junior Bloomsday), Sunday I did nothing except watch Farenheit 9/11.
I had 6 beers all weekend. That's gotta be a summertime record low.

Snides said...

Laaaame. I only had 6 beers after I had tequila on Friday, but that's because I thought my stomach was going to spontaneously combust. And on Saturday, I was drinking Labatt Sterling. So who's lame NOW?

Unknown said...

Labatt Sterling? What is that, some kinda low-carb water that eventually gets you drunk?

Snides said...

It sure is. Something that tastes like water, but gets you drunk - now THAT sounds like a drink of choice.