And when I say Crazies here, folks, I'm specifically referring to the majority of the human race. No, not the Chinese. Females.
My good friend Jeff takes credit as my friend who attracts the most, and the craziest, of the Crazies. Read the blog called "Crazy [Dancing] Girls" back from May and you will have a good general impression. However, I would argue that he merely does not realize in time when he has come in contact with an exceptionally crazy Crazy (resulting in aforementioned funny stories, and no harm to me, so keep it up). I am sure I would meet just as many Crazies if pursued relations with them. My example is thus:
Several months ago, I went to a new financial planner. He managed to completely screw up my taxes and lose me money, but that's not the point here. The point is he had a secretary, who obviously wanted me (obviously all girls want me, so this was just perpetuating that truth). They also happen to work in the same building as I live in. When I was gone for a couple of months, she slipped the following letter under my door, edited only for length and privacy of the author:
Dear Matt,
Holy Bowly...you were right again! (This is my small way of avoiding saying I'm wrong as usual).
Mr. M has every intention of apologizing to you in person. He feels terrible for his continuous oversight on your tax return (blah blah...more stuff about my taxes)
Did I mention that Mr. M feels horrible and YOU WERE RIGHT...would it help if I said that I slid this under your door naked? Didn't think so...I would have slid a bottle of something under the door if it would fit or wouldn't get stolen at the door (those carpet installer bastards having been making such racket all week! And they look like drinkers or dinkers after dipping in the sauce).
I know you are heading back to Portage Sunday sometime, call me during the weekend if you have any burning questions, I should be home Saturday evening @889-xxxx. I would be most happy to answer any questions that you may have regarding this most disconcerting situation...not that I'm the person to ask or anything!!!!
Take care,
N@
And then she even attached her business card to it, in case I wanted to call her at work or email her I guess. Or, more likely, since I didn't know her name. So, not only was it totally unprofessional of her to send me a letter making fun of carpet installers (or, more importantly, to screw up my taxes), she totally offered herself up for a Saturday evening.
And therefore, by actually saying she wanted me (which is always assumed), she joins the ranks of the Crazies. Awesome.
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7 comments:
That fucking RULES!
You better follow that up. Oh wait it's too late. Who cares?!? FOLLOW!!!
HA HA HA HA ha ha ha ha...
..ha HA HA HA ha ha...
You guys have quite the luck. How come all the girls who hit on me are really attractive, sane, and well mannered? I guess the crazies know that someone of my caliber is out of their league. Tough break guys.
Melanie doesn't read this, you don't have to suck up.
Didn't a MAN hit on you? Was he attractive, sane, and well mannered? Are you going for him?
Since when did you become such a hot commodity?? I say stay away from the crszies....it might be contagious.
Are you kidding me? What do you mean since when? Have you SEEN me?
Ya, you're quite the ladies man. When I talk about girls hitting on me, I'm obviously not talking about my long term girlfriend turned fiancee. The dudes that have hit on me have been Very well mannered and ya, fairly good looking. What can I say, I attract me some keepers.
Didn't you hit on a dude in Quad, Kyle? Oh wait, you just said 'I'd hit that'. Sorry. Or was that your cousin? I get all those stories mixed up. My bad.
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